please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How does one acquire holy water?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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