Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
