Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I got chris browned last night
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
