u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
