i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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