i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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