We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
