I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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