i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
