Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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