just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
