your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
