happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
