When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
