there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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