Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We are two peas in an std pod
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
