i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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