words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
