Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
