you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
