I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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