help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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