Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
