she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
