shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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