i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
