woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
