im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
