She is in my trunk
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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