My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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