she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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