its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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