forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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