i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
