I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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