john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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