but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
