Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
