Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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