he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
