I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
