ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
