Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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