I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
