We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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