Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
