as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
