I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
