so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
