Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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